16 Years Ago Today…

…Everything changed. Everything. My Identity. My purpose in life. My goals. And, most profoundly, my theology.

16 Years ago today, August 14, 1996, my first son, Micah, was born.

In an instant, my identity changed: I became Daddy. I also became known around town as “Micah’s Dad.”

My purpose in life became the relentless effort to be the best father I can possibly be. This effects my whole life. I work hard so I can be an example to my children. I love my wife faithfully, so I can teach my children how to love ( and because my wife is my soul mate, but that is another post). I live well, so my children will know what it means to be alive in this world. And I am devoted to them, so they will always know that they are loved.

But on the morning of August 14, 1996, the doctor placed this tiny little person in my hands, and I looked into his face for the very first time. It rocked my world, and for the first time, I understood the Heart of God.

For years leading up to his birth, I had read about and heard whispers of a faith that claimed a more generous grace than the one I grew up with. My heart was struggling with the notion that the God of Love we proclaimed was OK with the idea that most humans would spend Eternity suffering in Hell. Yet, I was afraid to question, afraid to challenge my old assumptions, because I had been taught, and fully believed, that those questions in and of themselves were sinful. I had tried to live in a faith that claimed Salvation for the faithful only, but couldn’t really express what I really felt.

And then I held Micah for the first time.

As I held him, I marveled at how perfect he was. Not that he was without blemish or flaw or potential for sinfulness. But that even with these things, he was perfect. Exactly as he should have been. Exactly as God had created him. I promised him at that moment, that nothing he could ever do, nothing he could ever say, nothing in all creation, could cause me to stop loving him. Even if I have to search him out, and chase him down, to the ends of the earth, I will not let him go.

And then it hit me. If I, a sinful man as I am, can love with such great love, how much more can God, who is the very essence of love, love God’s children? Am I capapble of a love that exceeds that of God’s? No. I discovered on that day that I boldly and completely believe in God, whose love really is UNCONDITIONAL. I believe that God will not let anyone go, no matter what. I believe in love.

And, of course, that began a journey into an understanding of God, Jesus, the Bible, and a church that lives a faith based on grace that is true and absolute. It isn’t a denial of Christian Truth. It is a claiming of the very message of Jesus.

Happy birthday Micah… I still love you completely.

I promise.

Dad